About the Author
Born into a family of teachers, I was fortunate to have access to education and the freedom to explore who I wanted to become. Yet despite those privileges, I often felt like the black sheep of the family because of the way I viewed life. The people around me believed success was measured by financial achievement - becoming a doctor, lawyer, or excelling academically. While I respect those paths, my definition of success has always been different. Don’t get me wrong - we all need money to pay our bills, but I do not believe that should be the only reason we work. At least, it has never been that way for me. Beyond financial gain, I believe in working with purpose, passion, and integrity. And when you do, the right people will recognize your work ethic, talent, and value. They will pay you fairly rather than take advantage of you.
To me, success means living a life that resonates with your soul — a life aligned with your values, purpose, and authenticity. I have always believed that when you remain true to yourself, you naturally attract people who resonate with your spirit and purpose. Those people become your soul family.
Because of this belief, I left home early and began a journey of self-discovery. Along the way, I changed many jobs, moved from place to place, lived in different apartments, and even stayed in Airbnb's while trying to understand myself more deeply. Even today, I still feel that I am learning and evolving as I grow older.
Writing became an important part of that journey. I spent countless hours in cafés, allowing my mind to wander freely while observing places, food, conversations, and people. Some cafés had poor Wi-Fi connections, but that never stopped me from writing. Those moments of reflection became the foundation of my creativity and self-expression.
Now, let me share why I chose to write self-help and motivational books. To explain that, I have to take you back to my childhood. Growing up, I used to look like a chubby little boy who was often bullied by classmates. They called me hurtful nicknames like “pholomolo,” suggesting I was neither masculine nor feminine enough, and “takpo,” a term often used to describe someone perceived as tacky or lacking a sense of style. Ironically, today many people know me as a style icon - but back then, life looked very different. It led me to struggle with body dysmorphia and an eating disorder, battles I endured silently out of shame. I never spoke about it - not even to my own family - because I had spent so much of my life feeling like I did not belong that I convinced myself no one would truly understand what I was going through.
Yet despite all the pain I carried in silence, one thing I refused to do was play the victim. Instead, I chose to shift my perspective. I would often think about people who had endured circumstances far worse than mine, and I would ask myself, “If they can keep going, what excuse do I have to give up?” Those thoughts gave me the courage to confront my fears and begin seeing life differently.
I became disciplined. I started eating healthier, exercising consistently, and taking better care of myself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Over time, that dedication led to a complete transformation — not just outwardly, but inwardly as well. It marked the beginning of my self-love journey.
But even then, life was not done testing me. Sometimes I wonder whether the universe placed certain people in my path simply to challenge me to grow even more. I became the target of gossip, rumors, and smear campaigns. People claimed I had undergone Botox or plastic surgery to achieve my transformation, unaware that it was actually the result of years of quiet self-work and discipline.
To be fair, I understand why some people assumed those things — I have often been told that I look much younger than my age. But what they did not see were the countless hours spent in the gym, the commitment to self-care, the healthier lifestyle, and the emotional healing happening behind the scenes. People tend to judge what they have not witnessed, especially when they cannot imagine the level of dedication and willpower required to transform oneself. The truth is, genuine transformation is not easy. It demands years of consistency, discipline, resilience, and an unwavering commitment to becoming better than who you once were.
And to be clear, I am not judging anyone who has chosen Botox, liposuction, or plastic surgery. Who am I to judge? We all live different lives and walk different paths. Not everyone is meant to believe in the same things or make the same choices. If those decisions bring someone confidence and happiness, then that is entirely their right.
In fact, who knows — I may even change my mind one day and decide to go under the knife in my 50s or 60s. But for now, I personally feel that I am still young enough to shape and maintain my body and appearance through exercise, discipline, and self-care. And if I ever do decide otherwise in the future, don’t worry — I’ll be sure to update this blog with the full story. 😉
Back then, I desperately tried to fit in because every human being longs for a sense of belonging, especially when they feel different. But no matter how hard I tried, I often felt rejected. Eventually, there came a moment when I simply said, “Enough,” and chose to remain authentic to myself. That decision marked the beginning of my true journey.
Some people viewed me as rebellious. Others thought I was strange & eccentric for thinking and acting differently. But that was simply who I was. I refused to fit in. Many people did not understand my experiences or the emotional wounds I carried from childhood. Over time, I learned to nurture and “adopt” my inner child because I realized that only I could truly understand myself. Writing in my journals became my safe space — a place where I could be vulnerable, honest, and free from judgment.
That is the beauty of journaling: it allows you to speak honestly with yourself without fear of criticism. Journaling helped me heal my inner child, awaken my creativity, and discover parts of myself I never knew existed. I came to realize that healing your wounds opens your heart, and when your heart opens, creativity begins to flow naturally. Of course, wearing your heart on your sleeve comes with risks. Some people may see you as naïve or foolish. But I no longer feared that judgment because healing unlocked talents, wisdom, creativity, and strength that had long been buried beneath my unresolved pain. It also taught me the importance of healthy boundaries.
In the past, I was an empath with no boundaries. Today, I am still an empath — but one who refuses to allow others to take advantage of my kindness. I learned how to give wholeheartedly in relationships, both personal and professional, while also recognizing when to walk away from disrespect or unhealthy situations.
Many people remain trapped in toxic relationships because they fear losing others more than they value themselves. But true self-worth comes from knowing when enough is enough. When you fully give your love, honesty, and effort, yet someone continues to take advantage of you, walking away becomes an act of self-respect. And often, the people who lose someone genuine never truly forget them. As a matter of fact, if I may offer one piece of advice on how to earn someone’s respect in the quickest and most genuine way, it is this: give your all in a relationship — wholeheartedly, sincerely, and without reservation. But if your efforts are consistently taken for granted, have the wisdom and self-respect to know when to walk away.
Do everything within your power to end it & walk away, you leave with no regrets. True growth cannot flourish in toxic environments. When you are on a journey of healing and self-discovery, you must be willing to distance yourself from negativity — even when it is painful, uncomfortable, or misunderstood by the people you love. Healing often requires difficult decisions and the courage to protect your peace, because you cannot evolve into your highest self while remaining surrounded by environments that continuously drain, damage, or diminish your spirit. I can assure you that some people may never reach out again because of their pride or ego, yet your absence will leave a lasting imprint on their hearts. Others, however, will recognize your value and choose to walk alongside you on the journey you were always meant to take — do it with or without them. Either way, you become unforgettable. And this is not about manipulation or playing games; it is about maintaining healthy boundaries while still choosing to remain kind, loving, and authentic.
The reason I write motivational and self-help books is not to please people or gain validation. I write because writing helped heal me. It helped me unlock talents, creativity, wisdom, and potential that I never realized I possessed. Now, I want to share that healing journey with others — especially those who are walking the same painful path I once walked. These books are for the people who feel misunderstood, lost, rejected, or emotionally wounded. My hope is that through my words, they can begin healing, rediscover their creativity, unlock their hidden gifts, and finally see the potential that has always existed within them.
Stay tuned for my upcoming books, creative projects, videos, and updated blogs — including a new series titled “30 Days of Yet Another Transformation,” where I will be sharing my daily journey through vlogs documenting the food I eat, the workouts I do, my routines, mindset, and personal growth in real time.
One thing I deeply regretted in the past was not allowing people to witness my transformation journey as it was happening. This time, I have challenged myself to be fully open and authentic, inviting my readers and supporters to grow alongside me through my videos, writings, and daily experiences.
With that, allow me to end this blog with a short poem. Until next time, perhaps my next destination will be your café, your restaurant, your Airbnb, or even your city - who knows where this journey will take me next.
I was the girl who never fit the mold,
Too soft for some, too different to hold.
Bullied in silence, ashamed of my pain,
Yet I kept walking through storms and rain.
I searched through cities, cafés, and nights,
Trying to heal what hid out of sight.
Through journals, discipline, heartbreak, and scars,
I learned broken souls can still become stars.
Now I no longer beg to belong -
I found my truth where I stood all along.
And if my story can help one heart heal,
Then every wound I carried was real.
Until then, stay foolish enough to dream, stay curious enough to grow, and stay hopeful enough to believe that life still has beautiful surprises waiting for you.
I’ll see you again in my next blog.
— Your Cheerleader & Confidant,
Stella Tenzin
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